Hello Dear Reader Life has afforded me the gifts of both relative obscurity and contentment, and an impressive capacity for denial. Moreover - like some of you perhaps - in order to survive the last few years I’ve had to get less worked up over current affairs and, to a certain extent, stick my head in the sand just to make it through the day. It’s been working really well, until it didn’t.
Sep 19, 2023·edited Sep 19, 2023Liked by Nerina Pallot
Firstly, sending love your way N. Thank you for your words, and for your resilience. The entertainment industry has a lot to answer for. And even beyond that, it's just awful how commonplace it is. Your plane was my train, and I was one of the lucky 1% who got a conviction. But only because my partner was livid, where I shrugged it off as another one of those things that happen to women, and encouraged me to report it to the transport police, and then only because he'd done the same to a member of the train staff one carriage down. The fact that I have to consider myself lucky to have got a conviction speaks volumes for the backwardness of the system.
Kudos Nerina for telling us this. I think every woman has experienced sexist and/or misogynistic behaviour either physically or verbally. I, myself, verbally for having an opinion which made a male look stupid in front of his friends, so he took the easy route and tried to insult me. I have brought a son who is incredibly understanding and supportive of women and who is comfortable in his masculinity and does not need to explain this to his friends or pretend he has a certain mindset order to "belong". I think it is important to educate young boys that being supportive and respectful of women and being assured of your male gender are not mutually exclusive.
I’m so sorry, Nerina, and sorry no-one saw and helped you. I just want you to know that I see and hear you. I believe you and everyone who dares to speak up. It’s a risk for so many reasons, not least because of the tiny chance of the justice.
The survivors do what they can to survive, the rest of us have a duty to do much more. Sending love.
Dear Nerina I'm so glad you put in your two pennies worth your words are priceless. So sorry for your airplane experience, I am permanently embarrassed, angry and saddened by the male gender. As for Brand, the first time I saw him I thought he was an un_funny, arrogant gob shite and there was something not quite right.about him. Turns out it's true. Thank you for putting pen to paper, we love you.
It's not easy being a woman, but those artists, like yourself, who become famous are treated worse in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your thoughts regularly, because silence will never create change for the better
Perfect counter to that "why didn't they go to the police?" bit.
"Did they decide that because conviction rates are so appalling, trial by media was better than no trial at all? Did they offer these incredibly brave women counselling? Did they offer to pay for serious lawyers so they have any credible chance of taking this to court?"
Nerina, truly emotive in every sense. It is absolutely the case that much more should done to root out seriously bad apples in society, although I have swung to and fro on the subject of trial by media in the global sense. However, in cases such as you describe I completely concur with your viewpoint. In my opinion, you should definitely forgive yourself, in relation to your appalling experience on the plane. It is impossible to legislate against a disturbed individual invading our space, possibly violently. It is also impossible to predict our reaction.
I'm very sorry you suffered such a terrifying and disturbing ordeal on that flight, and sorry that you had no say over your younger self appearing in the Dispatches programme, or over the initial encounter - it's all so rage inducing. But thank you for sharing so eloquently as always, big love to all who've suffered throughout this industry and beyond.
I’m so sorry, Nerina, not only for what happened to you, but also for the kind of society that we’re still living in. People often say “it used to be even worse”. Well…that may be true, but that idea tends to obscure the reality of how shockingly little has actually changed and how much work must still be done, and done over again. Women I know say “We’re always afraid.” How long? Thanks again for everything you do and say, in words or in music or in any other way.
Thank you for vocalising your thoughts so articulately Nerina. I share a great many of those thoughts but could never hope to lay them on paper as eloquently. Thank you.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, how awful. It's an unfortunate truth that so many women have stories like this, it seems no woman is immune from harassment or assault at some point in her life. The knife is twisted with the inevitable response of "why didn't she report it?" Also; she's lying and/or was asking for it and/or it was consensual. Fucking infuriating. Thank you for sharing your story.
Whilst I'm aware I'm Ignoring the main thrust of your post. I would say that it's you that is ferociously articulate Nerina, Brand just has a repertoire of flavoured sentence structures that he has built over time. BTW, Ferociously articulate is a great name for an album.
Firstly, sending love your way N. Thank you for your words, and for your resilience. The entertainment industry has a lot to answer for. And even beyond that, it's just awful how commonplace it is. Your plane was my train, and I was one of the lucky 1% who got a conviction. But only because my partner was livid, where I shrugged it off as another one of those things that happen to women, and encouraged me to report it to the transport police, and then only because he'd done the same to a member of the train staff one carriage down. The fact that I have to consider myself lucky to have got a conviction speaks volumes for the backwardness of the system.
Always so articulate. Thank you always for your insight and wisdom.
Well said Nerina
Amy Winehouse would be proud of you for calling them out. All of them.
These are insane vindictive people invading lives and creating a Pendle Witch society.
They are abhorrent.
I’m sorry for your terrifying experience and hope Karma has dealt with the psycho on the plane.
Many more would speak out with the benefit of a fit for purpose crown prosecution service.
Kudos Nerina for telling us this. I think every woman has experienced sexist and/or misogynistic behaviour either physically or verbally. I, myself, verbally for having an opinion which made a male look stupid in front of his friends, so he took the easy route and tried to insult me. I have brought a son who is incredibly understanding and supportive of women and who is comfortable in his masculinity and does not need to explain this to his friends or pretend he has a certain mindset order to "belong". I think it is important to educate young boys that being supportive and respectful of women and being assured of your male gender are not mutually exclusive.
Much love,
Anji Doyle
I’m so sorry, Nerina, and sorry no-one saw and helped you. I just want you to know that I see and hear you. I believe you and everyone who dares to speak up. It’s a risk for so many reasons, not least because of the tiny chance of the justice.
The survivors do what they can to survive, the rest of us have a duty to do much more. Sending love.
Such powerful words Nerina. In the words of Dianna Hardy.."It only takes one voice , at the right pitch, to start an avalanche." Thinking of you.
Judith Franklin
Dear Nerina I'm so glad you put in your two pennies worth your words are priceless. So sorry for your airplane experience, I am permanently embarrassed, angry and saddened by the male gender. As for Brand, the first time I saw him I thought he was an un_funny, arrogant gob shite and there was something not quite right.about him. Turns out it's true. Thank you for putting pen to paper, we love you.
It's not easy being a woman, but those artists, like yourself, who become famous are treated worse in so many ways. Thank you for sharing your thoughts regularly, because silence will never create change for the better
Perfect counter to that "why didn't they go to the police?" bit.
"Did they decide that because conviction rates are so appalling, trial by media was better than no trial at all? Did they offer these incredibly brave women counselling? Did they offer to pay for serious lawyers so they have any credible chance of taking this to court?"
Nerina, truly emotive in every sense. It is absolutely the case that much more should done to root out seriously bad apples in society, although I have swung to and fro on the subject of trial by media in the global sense. However, in cases such as you describe I completely concur with your viewpoint. In my opinion, you should definitely forgive yourself, in relation to your appalling experience on the plane. It is impossible to legislate against a disturbed individual invading our space, possibly violently. It is also impossible to predict our reaction.
I'm very sorry you suffered such a terrifying and disturbing ordeal on that flight, and sorry that you had no say over your younger self appearing in the Dispatches programme, or over the initial encounter - it's all so rage inducing. But thank you for sharing so eloquently as always, big love to all who've suffered throughout this industry and beyond.
I’m so sorry, Nerina, not only for what happened to you, but also for the kind of society that we’re still living in. People often say “it used to be even worse”. Well…that may be true, but that idea tends to obscure the reality of how shockingly little has actually changed and how much work must still be done, and done over again. Women I know say “We’re always afraid.” How long? Thanks again for everything you do and say, in words or in music or in any other way.
Thank you for vocalising your thoughts so articulately Nerina. I share a great many of those thoughts but could never hope to lay them on paper as eloquently. Thank you.
Much love
Lesley x
I’m beyond sorry that you had to go through all of this. But I want to say thank you for sharing this. Sending you all the love and support here.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, how awful. It's an unfortunate truth that so many women have stories like this, it seems no woman is immune from harassment or assault at some point in her life. The knife is twisted with the inevitable response of "why didn't she report it?" Also; she's lying and/or was asking for it and/or it was consensual. Fucking infuriating. Thank you for sharing your story.
Whilst I'm aware I'm Ignoring the main thrust of your post. I would say that it's you that is ferociously articulate Nerina, Brand just has a repertoire of flavoured sentence structures that he has built over time. BTW, Ferociously articulate is a great name for an album.